...I seem to be a perfect Westerner.
Body image is an enormous and pervasive issue in our culture. There is a huge amount of pressure put on people to look like the models whose pictures they see plastered everywhere. Be skinnier, be more tan, be more toned, have sexier hair, be taller, have thinner thighs, etc. I was curious when coming here, how the issue would play out. What I've found leaves me sad and befuddled.
Yes, they should be skinny and toned, but mostly their standard is this: have a light complexion, be tall and curvy; use any amount of make-up necessary to look like you have big eyes and "double eyelids"; dye your hair and get it permed to make sure it's not straight or black; go through any length you have to - usually plastic surgery - to make your face look less round and more oval. To sum it all up, look as "western" as you possibly can!
For years I have struggled with feeling that I wasn't pretty enough, because I wasn't skinny or toned or tall. Because I thought there was some objective standard of beauty that I could never attain. But since I've been here, I have been saddened to realize that although this is not true, it seems to be a common misconception. But here their "objective standard" is vastly different from ours.
This point was driven home to me yesterday in a way that breaks my heart.
The University was shooting a promotional video, and for the part about the global exchange program, they conscripted me and a few other international students, as well as some Korean students. One girl was visibly shaken because she was so nervous. When I asked her if she was ok she said "No! I am not ok. I don't look good enough." Taken aback I tried to comfort her, "Oh! I think you are pretty, your hair is really beautiful and you look really professional." She really was beautiful by my subjective standards and I wanted her to see herself through my eyes. Although countless others have hinted at this idea, her blunt response shocked me. "Me?! Oh no! You are so beautiful!! So... *here she spread her arms out to show that she thought I was off the scale*...I wish I had her skin and your hair and your EYES!"
Me - she wanted to look like ME! Why?? Why would she want to look like me when she could look like her? Why? Because the standard of beauty here screams to Korean girls that they should look Western. It's a scream that makes these beautiful girls feel intimidated by an very average American. Me. This realization continues to overwhelm me. I am humbled, but infuriated. Why, why, why are we so caught up in pursuit of this perceived "objective" beauty?! Why do we constantly strive for such a hollow and unattainable goal? Why do we let it intimidate and control us? And why am I the person who, by no choice of my own, constantly rubs this into the faces of my beautiful Korean counterparts??!
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