Saturday, September 21, 2013

Imagine (a cover, of course)

...a place where you hail a taxi by walking out into the road - hopefully no further than the second lane - with all your luggage and hope someone slows down long enough for you to jump in. And you're lucky because 6 other groups of people were doing the same thing.

...a place where you are on a subway and your car has 30 people around age 21. One is looking around, 2 are looking intently at each other, 3 are sleeping, and the rest are silently and intently doing something-or-other on a smart Phone. Guess which one is you...!

...a place where you stand and wait and then run to cross a 15-foot-wide road, all the while dodging bikers. Riding bicycles. Even a couple bicycles-built-for-two.

...a place where you can't walk without bumping into someone. If you want to go in a direction the person next to you didn't go, you have to push someone out of the way.

...a place where you are standing literally shoulder-to-shoulder with 70 other college students and every time your bus driver takes a curve faster than 5mph all of you lean with the curve. You won't fall, but you have to move with everyone else.

...a place where "American food" is a salad with spaghetti noodles in Italian dressing mixed with red pepper paste.

...a place where you can see only people with dark skin, dark eyes, and dark hair; you can hear only words that you don't understand; and you can see only signs that hurt your brain to make the effort of reading.

...a place where only the professionals dance, and everyone sings karaoke.

...a place where the biggest size dress in the whole store is a size US 8.

...a place where couples wear matching shoes, or shirts, or underwear, or glasses, or socks, or rings, or shorts, or anything/everything else and it is considered cute. Only cute.

...a place where you are considered beautiful because your hair is blond and your skin is light.

...a place where you can find a Convenience Store on every corner and they sell the exact same thing: 20 kinds of ramen, 20 kinds of milk, 50 other kinds of drinks, 10 kinds of ice cream, and 1 of everything else from bandaids to gum to condoms to Calorie Balance bars.

...a place where even the locals can't comfortably use the bus system.

...a place where you can take a train, a subway, a taxi, a bus, a cable car, a bike, or your feet for hours and still be in the same city.

...a place where everyone lives in apartment buildings with 20+ floors.

...a place where many people have studied English for approximately 10 years but are still too shy to speak even one word.

...a place where you are considered polite and kind if you greet the natives in their native language when you obviously know English.

...a place where you can wear tight shorts or skirts that barely cover your butt, (you have no hips, so don't worry about those) while if you show your shoulders you are considered risque.

...a place where many girls would rather kill their child (after being born, not before) than be a single mother.

...a place where you can order anything you want from a restaurant and they will bring it to you on the back of their motor bike that they probably rode on the sidewalk and down the lane-dividing line between two big buses to get to you. (Their version of fast food.)

...a place where kissing in public is taboo.

...a place where all girls are pressured to be as skinny as possible, while no one besides themselves and their friends really care. The guys certainly seem to value hair color, eye shape, and huggability more than boniness.

...a place where it is normal to see a fashionable girl wearing socks and tennis shoes with a nice dress or 5 inch heels with ripped up jeans and a (baggy) t-shirt.

...a place where every meal includes rice and 5 or 6 side dishes. Maybe a different type of meat depending on the time of day and your income.

...a place where people carry around those famous Asian fans and use them.

...a place where there are no junkers, even the old people have smart phones, everything sparkles, and the plumbing is too old to handle toilet paper - that's what trash cans are for, right?

...a place where foreigners get discounts.

...a place where you can go into a subway station and go down 6 floors before you walk another quarter of a mile to find your train. Don't forget you passed about 5 coffee places and 6 Convenience Stores by now.

...a place where 2 blocks from the hottest club strip in one of the largest cities in the world, you can walk down a quiet street past 5 hostels right next to each other.

...a place where it's not rude to bump into people...it's not polite to make eye contact...it's not rude to stare...it's not polite to say "excuse me" or "bless you" - ever...it's not rude to ignore people who talk to you for their job...it's not polite to talk to your friends' parents...it's not rude to smack your lips while eating...it's not polite to use napkins...it's not rude to tell people what to do...it's not polite to wait for other people to get off the subway/elevator before you...it's not rude to cancel or change plans, invade someone's (as long as they are the same sex) "personal space," tell someone they are strange, point out and help fix physical flaws, and finally...

...a place where the idea of correct etiquette while eating is to get the food into your mouth. Eating noodles has never been so easy.

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