A very uninspired blog post

Writing a blog post can be extremely difficult. I want to be creative and fun, entertaining and informative. But what if all the thoughts in my head are lose odds and ends - half-baked ideas that I thought one minute and forget to remember the next? So many different and difficult things happen here. Different because I am in a different country, different because I am living in a dorm for the first time in my life, different because I have to make a completely new set of friends, different because the entire structure of my life has changed.

For one who's crafted a life for herself that thrives on structure and organization, this change is not an easy one. The cultural differences, honestly, bother me very little. People stare - not just at me, but also at each other - and that's ok; I stare back. People have this concept of personal space - it means that we should be personal with the space around us. So yes, please, go ahead and put your hand on my leg. I can get used to those, really, it's ok. In fact, I don't really mind too much that I can't ever understand what is going on around me. Talk in Korean, I'll practice listening to your pronunciation. Order food for me, I wouldn't know what to get anyway.

*shrug*

I tend to go with the flow and be pretty chill when it comes to "cultural differences."

So where is the difficult part? I have so much free time! I have 6 classes each week, 2 on Monday, and 1 every other day. Then I have to study German, and study Spanish, and study Korean, and work on projects for other class. Practice Taekwondo, work out, go running. Oh yeah - eating is usually a good idea. Maybe I'll sleep sometime, but when to wake up? All my classes start mid-late morning... WHERE IS MY ROUTINE!?!

And then...there's my room mate. I like her, she is very quiet and introverted and sweet. But, we share a room. When I want to be alone, I have to go somewhere, and even there, who knows when someone else will find my quiet place? What about sitting alone, in my space? It doesn't happen. I have no place of my own. (Reminds me a little of when I was growing up with 11 other people in the same house and the shower was the best place for alone time.)  It is also very difficult to go out alone as I speak very, very little of the language.

And the last idea that is constantly floating around, unfinished, in my head, is the pain of distance. Behind every new friend I meet, and behind every old friend I talk to on Facebook or Skype, is the lurking thought, "It's not going to last." The partial truth of this nagging thought is its strength. Because the fact is, many of the people who I am close to now, and many of the new friends I get close to in the coming months, I won't keep up with for a long period of time. But... why should that be so frightening? Friends sometimes come into your life, and it's beautiful, and it doesn't last. Is it any less beautiful for its transience? I think not. No, the people I meet here will never know me as well as the friends I've had since high school, but that is ok. They are the people in my life at this point. Also, who is to say what will stick and what won't? One of my very best friends my freshman year was a Korean girl who only stayed for one semester. Safe to say I am very glad that she was willing to be friends with me even tho we only had a short time together, also, guess what? Our friendship isn't over!

So there you have it: random thoughts about the struggles I am having here. The good news? It's just barely started! Plenty of time to make a routine and some friends. Or...maybe just the friends part.