Monday, August 11, 2014

Peru, Day 51: Dear All-knowing Diary

Dear Diary,
First, did I really just sit and do nothing in my hostel all day?
Second, am I that sad of a person?
Third, why didn't I get up and get out there? Why didn't I brave that gray air? Why didn't I just walk out into a city where I know no one, nothing, and am completely alone?
Forth, why did I waste this entire day?
And, fifth, why am I writing to you as if you could write back?

Dear Beth,
Well hello there! I bet you didn't know that I COULD write back! I know, I get that shocked expression every time I deign a response, but your disillusioned depression was really getting me down, so I thought I would attempt a response just this once.

First, yes, you really did sit and do nothing in your hostel all day! Congratulations, I bet you are good and rested.
Second, that doesn't make you a sad person unless you are actually sad. Are you sad? If so, then yes, you are a sad person. If not, then no. Sitting in a hostel doesn't make you an inherently sad person.
Third, you didn't "get up and out there" because you're viewing this city as if it was in some way threatening you. Is it? Only if you choose to continue sitting in your hostel thinking that somehow that gray air is going to invade your soul and turn you into a minion of grayness.
You are scared of gray air.
You didn't do any of that because you are overwhelmed. Instead of just taking one step outside, one little step! You stayed in. Instead of taking a slow ramble around the block to get to know JUST ONE block of the city of Lima, you chose to ignore that option and continue thinking of Lima as a single, threatening entity.
Forth, you didn't waste the day. Days are only wasted if you neither learn nothing new nor experience nothing new. You did both. First, you experienced being completely surrounded by Hebrew-speaking Israelis, you learned that you are unreasonably overwhelmed, and you learned that...
Fifth, you are actually writing this to yourself.

Dear Diary,
Touché - I concur on every point.

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